I am not a "food blogger".
I will never have a cookbook deal.
I will never type a status that reads "that moment when". Kill me now.
I will never beg any brand to give me something free. I'll take it don't get me wrong - but I will not beg.
I am a woman who loves to cook and bake and I will blog about that here and there along with a crispy order of autism with sarcasm on the side.
I will not write sappy prose that will cause tears to well up in your eyes and threaten to spill over.
I will not gaze out the window and see the swirling leaves cascading down covering the hard ground that will make you long for Spring.
I will never write a status that includes a letter to myself, signed to myself.
I will not share dozens upon dozens of pictures of witty sayings or cute animals.
I will, however, have to share Andrewisms - it's in my contract.
I will never say food for cowboys, entitle something "the best ever" or have a giveaway where you have twelve chances, enter codes that you cannot read and give you a message that states "you are posting too quickly". I also will not make you follow my blog, be my friend, follow me on twitter -- I don't give a shit.
I will never sign a post xo or love. I save that for people I love and xo.
I will never make something gluten free, sugar free, diary free, or taste free. If you have an allergy - you figure it out.
I will never write like this. Oh. My. God. I. couldn't. stop. eating. them.
I will never use a hashtag. #hashtagsarestupid.
I think that is all I have, for now. Have a sunshiny day!
P.S. that wasn't all....I will never, ever stuff a brownie or cookie with an Oreo. Oreos have rights too!